Scrunchy but not a Hair Tie

Honestly, I fucking hate being placed into a category or label. It really doesn’t matter but reading other mom blogs and articles, it’s like a thing. But like to box yourself into a category or lifestyle just because some stupid mom blog said that is who you are, is super lame and you’re more than that. 

With that being said, what kind of mom are you!? LOL! AGAIN, it really doesn’t matter. This is all for shits and gigs, sis. Also when I was reading some mom blogs I had no idea what they were talking about when they said shit like “Crunchy Mom LYFE!”

 So here is a quick little breakdown about Crunchy, Silky, and Scrunchy moms.

Crunchy Momma- A crunchy mom would be a mother who practices holistic and natural living. Like, she may have an at home water birth and she will opt out of vaccinating. She probably exclusively breastfeeds, co-sleeps and wears her baby. During my maternity leave, I watched every single episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians and Kourtney Kardashian is literally a crunchy mom. Her sisters gave her so much shit for like living an organic holistic life. Calm down Khloe, the bitch is just tryna do what’s best for her kids. And that is all that matters. 

Silky Momma- A silky momma is a modern lady! She is pro medicated birth, she’s pro vaccines and she uses modern technology for convenience and time management. She might part time bottle feed because she’s a hard working momma. So basically, she’s the exact opposite of the crunchy mom. No shame in that, again, momma is only trying to do what is best for babe. AND ALSO WHO FUCKING CARES.

Scrunchy Momma-  A scrunchy momma is a mixture of both. She might eat organic, she might not. She might formula feed and breastfeed. She probably baby wears but won’t co-sleep. She might’ve had a hospital birth but no medication. She might use disposable diapers but make her own organic baby foods.

I would consider myself a scrunchy momma. I wanted to give birth in a hospital but I wanted no medicine (if you read Bruce’s birth story then you know that didn’t work out). I know disposable diapers are bad for the environment but I live in an apartment in LA with a shared laundry room. Cloth diapers were out of the question for me. I buy as much organic food for myself and for my baby that I can afford. But I love In n Out and we eat that at least once a week. I make my own baby food but I also buy foods when I don’t have the time to meal prep. I vaccinate on schedule. I love Bruce’s pediatrician and I trust her suggestions and her opinions. I mean she spent years in school studying medicine. I had a baby wreck my vagina, I’m no professional. But I do research and I try to find natural remedies for things like teething and resort to Tylenol when necessary. I read every label on every product I purchase and research things I don’t understand. I bed share and sometimes baby wear. 

There you go. But again, IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHAT THE INTERNET SAYS. Is your baby fed? Clothed? Happy? LOVED? If you answered “Duh you stupid bitch!” to all of those questions then you are ONE BAD MOTHERF*CKING* MOM! And that’s the only label that really matters.