In July 2017, my husband and I moved from the small town where we met, to LA County. I was excited, but leaving our friends and family was hard for me. Being pregnant can get isolating. Sometimes your friends aren’t in the same place you are in your life journey so it can be hard to connect. And for me, not only were most of my friends not ready to have kids but I was moving a couple hours away from them so I felt pretty lonely.
After I gave birth, the only socialzing I did was with my husband and on social media. I was starting to get weird. So I looked for local mom groups to become a part of but they were like not what I was looking for. There was one that you had to pay a membership for… You want me to pay to meet with other women to bitch about our kids? Nah sis. Then there was one that seemed cool but I didn’t feel like I had anything in common with them. They had more than one kid and they seemed like real adults, ya know? Like adults who can take care of plants and eat real meals instead of In n Out 3 times a week. I wasn’t ready for that. One day I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw this ad for an app called Peanut. I’m not sure why I tapped on it but I ended up downloading it and creating a profile.
Peanut is an app to meet other Moms. It’s very similar to Tinder. You can find mothers close to you. You can set up a filter to see moms up to 25 miles from you. You can use the filter to find moms with kids in the same age group as yours. Instead of swiping left or right, you swipe up to “Wave” to a momma or swipe down to skip. If you swipe up to a momma and she swiped up to you too, then you guys are a match! (Like Peanut Butter and Jelly! So cute!) When you create your profile you can pick 3 traits, they are called Packs, to describe what kind of momma you are. There are traits like Strictly Organic, Beer Buddy, or Mom Boss. (Mine are: But First Food, Powered By Caffine, and Beer Buddy. DUH!) You can see what traits moms pick and swipe up based on that. You can fill out your occupation, write a cute little bio and add photos. The app also has a message boards section where you can talk about motherhood, pregnancy and other women/mom things. One thing I super liked on the messgae boards was the Local section. You can read post from other mothers who are local to your area. Some moms posted when they were going to Disneyland and if other moms wanted to meet. Another mom posted about having a bunch of used baby clothes in my area and offered them up to anyone in need. It’s such great way to connect and reach out to other women. And since I was new to my area and a new mom, this was my fucking life line.
The most awkward thing about the app is actually trying to break the ice with someone. There were many times I started conversations with a mom and they would talk for a little and then ignore me. Straight up motherfucking ghosted! Or what would piss me off the most was the one word answers. Like I’m trying to connect with you here and you are either not interested or you’re really boring. So I would stop replying. It’s hard to get your personality across to someone online. I feel like my sarcasm and transparency didn’t come off the way I intended, so that was probably why no one wanted to be my friend. Oh well! Those bitches missed out! I’m such a good ass time. But I finally met some cool women who wanted to meet up and be mom friends. The first meet up is always nerve-wracking. It’s like first date jitters! It’s so weird! “Shit. I hope they like me. I hope I don’t say anything stupid or offensive. Fuck. I said something stupid. Back pedal! Back pedal! Too late. Wow they invited me to the next meet up. I guess I wasn’t that lame.” We’ve met up a few times at a park. Bruce gets to socialize with other babies and I get to talk to real people! It’s a win win!
Now all you moms, not just new moms, any mom who needs a tribe, download the Peanut app! Do it. RIGHT NOW! It might be hard to connect with other moms at first, but don't give up! Your perfect mom gang is out there!